Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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