all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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