I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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