i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
