How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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