My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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