Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
