pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
