Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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