you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
