well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
