from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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