you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
