sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
