If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
