Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
