But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
