I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My vagina is officially offended.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
