Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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