I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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