I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
