Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
