Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
