Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
