What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
