anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
