he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
