Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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