Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
