Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
