It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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