who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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