my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
