I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
