Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
