a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
