I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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