careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
