So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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