Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
