I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Rumble strips road head = magical
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
