don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
