I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Alive.
So much puke
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
