PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
