Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
