no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
