Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
