Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
