dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
