i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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